eeyorecol - New Favorite Gossip Humor Site

09:46 am - New Favorite Gossip Humor Site

Dateline: Hollywood

With great headlines such as:

KARL ROVE ACCUSED OF LEAKING HARRY POTTER SPOILER

Hollywood – White House adviser Karl Rove is under fire after his lawyer admitted that Rove spoke with a reporter for Time Magazine for Kids Online. Citing an anonymous source, the reporter revealed last week the stunning ending of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,'’ the sixth installment in J.K. Rowling’s seven-book fantasy series. “Karl Rove’s actions are nothing short of what Lord Voldemort would do,” said Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

VIRAL MENINGITIS TO BE RENAMED BRATT PITT SYNDROME
A spokesperson for the Centers of Disease Control in Atlanta says viral meningitis will be renamed Brad Pitt Syndrome this Wednesday. Pitt, 41, checked himself into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center last week, complaining of flu-like symptoms.

“He is by far the hottest actor to come down with viral meningitis,” says CDC spokeswoman Lucy Benston. “For too long, people have looked down upon viral meningitis. We think that’s going to change once people start getting diagnosed with Brad Pitt Syndrome."

XENU EXPRESSES DISPLEASURE WITH CRUISE
Alien overlord says star is making Scientologists look “crazy”

Xenu, the galactic overlord who murdered trillions of aliens on Earth 75 million years ago, releasing the thetan particles that still infect humanity today according to the Church of Scientology, has reportedly returned to express his displeasure with the recent behavior of Tom Cruise. “I expect celebrity devotees of my Church to spread my message through charity work and quality films like ‘Battlefield Earth,’” Xenu said in an interview with The Weekly World. “Attacking Brooke Shields and marrying some girl you met six weeks ago makes Scientologists look crazy.”

There are lots more good articles in the archives (such as one about Bob Geldoff raising money to feed Lindsay Lohan). Now I have more crap to procrastinate with at work...